Untitled

I was raised on cliché NOW! albums, and I never liked
the second disc but I loaded it all to my iPod anyway
I was born to the music of Springsteen and The Smiths
though it was never a question of liking the songs, just hearing

I realised I could played the piano because of Justin Timberlake
and I realised I couldn’t because of Erik Satie
I have taken thousands of photographs for a person
who prefers to remember than see the past in full colour

and I have stuck my head out of a lot of car windows
and train windows, just to feel the wind in my face
I wandered to many parks and fields and lakes
in the hope to find an answer to an unasked question

I have collected trinkets from every country but my favourites
are all stuffed animals with names I never forget
I swim with my eyes open in pools and in the sea
and I watch too many crime dramas from the nineties

I always wash my hair only because I like the hairdryer
and sit against the radiator swaddled in a towel
I have spent months of my life bathing because nothing
is quite so peaceful or quite so honest

I have read Marley & Me five times yet I still cry
I have read 1984 twice yet the ending still confuses me
I have read The Bell Jar once and it hollowed me
and I will read every word Carrie Fisher ever penned

I will continue to fight the urge to buy books
about the healing powers of the crystals I loved as a child
and I will forever wonder whether I would be good at
calligraphy; perhaps one day I will even try it

I will always find myself asking who I am
and I will always conclude that I do not know
except in the moments where I find myself alone
and forgetting that the question even exists